april 13th, 2010

basic space

I'm reaching for dusty books

with stained pages

as if some magical poem

is the answer.

I'm reaching for nice Cabs

and expensive pasta sauces

as if they contain 

the answer.

I'm reaching for instrumental jazz

downtempo electronica

and pure ambient simplicity

as if they guard

the answer.

I'm looking in all these places

time and time again

expecting new results

but only inching

towards insanity.

I'll continue to reach

for the answer

but it's about time I recognize

what she holds

is just as magnificent.

april 13th, 2009

broth

I am consumed by this song.  I hear my alarm go off and I hit the snooze a few times and when I am finally ready to rise and face the day-- the melody comes to mind and I am lost.  I walk blindly into the bathroom, arms stretched out at full length doing the best zombie impression I know.  I step into the shower in a daze and poorly cleanse myself.  Last week I forgot to turn on the water and stood under the shower head for eleven minutes, eyes glued to the fading red tiles on the wall.  I brush my teeth thoroughly, counter-clockwise with medium strength, one minute.  The melody continues to permeate my skull as I hop into the same pair of skinny black jeans.  I need that consistency.  My shoes are laid out for me and I slip into them with tentative ease.  I am still humming the chorus.  I am still humming the chorus.  It is infectious and awful and leaves a horrible taste in my mouth but only because I know I am so close.  The corks are piling up under the bed planks and at night they get together and map out devious plans to overthrow the tyrant sleeping in peace above them.  I found a map of theirs last week and felt a cold breeze slide across my torso.  I fear not though, for I have momentum on my side and she is one hell of a catalyst.  Auto pilot or not, continue to watch out below.  Rupert is ducking beneath the punches and connecting his jabs with remarkable force.  The exterior tells merely what I cannot hide, and these days, I am hiding more than you know.