Friday, August 7, 2009

august 7th, 2009

pocket knife

I try to get as high as I can
before I fall asleep
before I wake up and put on my mask

I try and milk each night
squeeze out every last drop
before I collapse onto my pillow
and wake up drooling
confused and bitter

it may not be noble
but it is what I need
and it is what I want
I live for the groan
and despise it as the same time
I guess I enjoy the clash
the repetitive inconsistency 
no, better said, I accept it
to attain freedom
I must work for it
to live a life void of responsibility
I must prove my responsibility
I don't want to be handed success
I want to earn it
I want to accept my rewards
with a brisk step
and open hands
I want to feel I deserved it
not surprised my name was called

I want to be old
with her
drunk on the balcony
still inspired
wine cellar deep below our feet
happy to be alive
and angry to witness such suffering

all and all
I just want my own dog.


1 comment:

  1. "not surprised my name was called"

    the balcony..has been one of the few best things
    in my entire life.. I can't live without it.